Guest · The Circuit
Kier Gaines
Kier Gaines is a therapist, creator, and author of It All Starts When You Do.
Appeared on: Booked, Blonde & Busy w/ Olivia Ponton · The Mel Robbins Podcast
Circuit updated September 22, 2026
Every appearance, the moment worth your time
- Kier Gaines says Xaden's protection in Fourth Wing is still manipulation
“If your protection takes away somebody's autonomy, it's not protection anymore.” 37:52
- Kier Gaines says the world is designed for your productivity and attention, not your peace
“The world is designed for your productivity and for your attention and that's it. It's meant to absorb your your attention and churn productivity out of you” 5:12
Notable quotes
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“Social media is designed to make you feel like you're behind. Marketing is designed to make you feel like you're being left out. The news is designed I don't know what the news was was originally designed for, but now it's designed to scare the hell out of you.”
Kier Gaines · The Mel Robbins Podcast -
“If your protection uh takes away my autonomy to decide whether to stay or leave because you're lying to me, that's not protection anymore. That's manipulation.”
Kier Gaines · Booked, Blonde & Busy w/ Olivia Ponton -
“The world is designed for your productivity and for your attention and that's it. It's meant to absorb your your attention and churn productivity out of you”
Kier Gaines · The Mel Robbins Podcast -
“If you drink from a water fountain, it quenches your thirst. If you drink from a fire hose, it breaks your teeth.”
Kier Gaines · The Mel Robbins Podcast -
“You don't always stop overwhelm when you're already in it. You slow it down enough for you to catch your breath.”
Kier Gaines · The Mel Robbins Podcast -
“And you internalize that as I'm exceptional when in all actuality, it's just not your turn yet.”
Kier Gaines · Booked, Blonde & Busy w/ Olivia Ponton
All coverage
Booked, Blonde & Busy w/ Olivia Ponton·Health
Kier Gaines says Xaden's protection in Fourth Wing is still manipulation
The licensed therapist gave BookTok's favorite brooding protector the clinical side-eye, and honestly, he earned it.
The Mel Robbins Podcast·Health
Kier Gaines says the world is designed for your productivity and attention, not your peace
The therapist's best point on The Mel Robbins Podcast is also his bleakest: your stress isn't just a personal failure, it's a business model.